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A dialogue.

dailymeh:

-!- Euthyphro has joined #archon.

-!- Socrates has joined #archon.

Euthyphro: wtf

Euthyphro: What are you doing here, Socrates? Why’d you leave #lyceum? Surely you aren’t here to rant to the ops?

Socrates: Not rant, no. Someone’s been flaming me.

Euthyphro: Who’s that?

Socrates: Some dude on tumblr. I hardly know him. He’s called Meletus. Perhaps you’ve seen his site? He’s got long straight hair and an ugly beard in his profile pic.

Euthyphro: What’s he accusing you of?

Socrates: Oh, it’s serious business. He says he knows the youth are corrupted and he knows who’s corrupted them. I figure he must be really wise, and since I’m the reverse of wise, he’s found me out and he’s going to accuse me of corrupting his little friends. I’m steering the gullible away from great music and getting them to listen to all sorts of mainstream crap, he says. Of all the flamers, he seems to be the only one who’s starting the right way, by cultivating virtue in the noobs. Like any good mod he’s taking care of the newbies, and clearing out us trolls. That’s only the first step: afterwards he’ll have to attend to the veterans, the early adopters, and if he does as well as he’s started, he’s going to be a great benefactor.

Euthyphro: That’s total BS. I’m sure nothing will come of this.

Socrates: So what you doing here, Euthyphro?

Euthyphro: I came here to announce my scathing review I just posted.

Socrates: Who are you reviewing?

Euthyphro: You’re going to think I’m crazy if I tell you.

Socrates: Oh come on. Tell me.

Euthyphro: It’s my father’s new album.

Socrates: WHAT!

Socrates: Jeez. A man must know a lot about music before he could bring himself to do something like that.

Euthyphro: Indeed, Socrates, he must. But seriously, the music sucks. It’s like a combo of screeching cats and Britney Spears samples, on top of every sellout no-good indie band ever. Except with a hint of jazz.

Socrates: Good heavens, Euthyphro, you gotta know a lot about this stuff to be able to say it sucks with such certainty.

Socrates: I know what I’m gonna do! I don’t think I can do better than to become your follower. When Meletus comes on here, I’m gonna say: you, Meletus, acknowledge Euthyphro to be a great poster, and sound in his opinions; and if you approve of him you should approve of me, and retract your flames; and if you disapprove, you should begin by flaming the guy I follow, and who’ll be the ruin not of the noobs but of the veterans; I mean myself, being busy reblogging him, and his own father too.

Socrates: I’ve always been interested in music criticism, and in order to defend myself against Meletus’s flames, I’d be grateful if you could tell me what good music is, and what bad music is.

Euthyphro: Yeah sure, Socrates.

Socrates: So what’s good music, and what’s bad music?

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